I See Color

But I don’t make judgments about a person’s worth because of it

Last week, a woman went out to an Olive Garden to eat. Her server was a person of color — a black person. She requested a server who was not black.

The manager complied with her request, and was subsequently fired.

Also last week, my car broke down. The engine overheated. I pulled over and called AAA. They sent a tow truck.

The driver was a man of color, not African American though. He was dark-skinned with curly black hair and a slight beard; he had an accent. He quietly and competently hooked my car up to his truck. He asked if I would be riding with him to the garage.

I said I would be, and climbed into the cab of his truck.

He was quiet on the ride, which I appreciated. It was only a few minutes drive.

As we drove, I wondered: If that woman had called AAA and they had sent this tow truck driver, would she have yelled about it? Would she have called back to demand a white tow truck driver? Or would she have requested Triple A send a non-black driver on the call?

When we got to the garage that was going to look at my car, he expertly backed it, still hooked up to his truck, into a parking space. We both got out of the truck.

“Do you need anything else from me?” I asked him.

“No, we are all set,” he answered.

“Thank you for your help,” I said.

“You’re welcome, miss,” he said with a smile. (Let’s face it; he would have won me over by addressing me as “miss” alone.)

I don’t think I would have thought very deeply about the man who towed my car if the Olive Garden incident wasn’t fresh on my mind.

I would have noticed things about him. The color of his skin, sure. The wedding ring on a chain around his neck. His calm demeanor. The careful way he navigated the narrow street of Crafton. I’m a writer; I notice things.

What I don’t do is assign people value based on the things I notice. Yes, he had brown skin and a foreign accent. Those things didn’t affect me, though. He was professional, and he didn’t attempt small talk — neither did I. It had already been quite a week for me; my car breaking down was a straw on a camel’s back. (It didn’t break me, but it was damn close.)

I didn’t think twice of letting this man do his job, or of getting in his vehicle for the ride to the garage. Why would I?

Acknowledging the differences in people is more important than claiming to be “colorblind.” By seeing the color of someone’s skin, their differences in dress, speech, and ability means that I recognize that their experiences are different from my experiences. At the same time, we can’t let those differences and those experience reduce other people’s humanity.

Next time you interact with another person, look at them. See them. If they aren’t different from you, notice that; and if they are different, notice that too; acknowledge it to yourself. It might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but it is the first step in recognizing their humanity and value.

I hope they do the same for you.

Photo by Ryoji Iwata on Unsplash