Drink Less, Write More

My resolution hasn’t exactly worked out this year.

It’s been months since I published anything on Medium. This has been the weirdest year, and I’m not sure how to feel about my lack of productivity in the creative writing field.

The best thing I can say is that I have not yet become a full-blown alcoholic, which I’m sure my mother will be happy to read.

Part of not writing is, of course, having little to nothing to say. We all know it’s weird, we’re all operating with a lot of stress an anxiety, we are living uneasily with the uncertainty. In addition, things for me haven’t been… terrible. My husband and I are still working. The children are okay, if bored. I’ve started going back to the office a couple of times a week.

I honestly and totally haven’t one thing to complain about (that other people can’t complain about too). We’ve been incredibly lucky, even in these stupid, unprecedented, and stressful times.

The thing weighing most on my mind right now — aside from not writing, and maybe still drinking a bit too much — is school for my children in the fall.

One of my children has enrolled in cyber school again, so that is settled. The other two badly want to return to in-person schooling for myriad reasons, one of which is the social aspect. But I don’t want to send them back into a school building until there’s a vaccine.

I am waiting to see what my school district is going to propose.

My biggest worry aside from my own children getting sick is this: If my children go to in-person school, even on a part-time basis, we will be unable to visit family until a time of isolation has passed. I feel like this is something not being talked about or acknowledged. Like, I’m not visiting family for Thanksgiving if my kiddos only have Thanksgiving Day and that Friday off of school.

Besides, it is absolutely inevitable that someone in the school is going to get sick with COVID-19. And after that, we’ve all been exposed, and everything gets shut down again anyway.

It’s so dumb to think children can go back. And, yes, I get that I am very lucky (see above): My children are older; we have the tech we need to school virtually; Dan and I have flexibility about how and where we work.

Am I selfish for wanting to take full advantage of my good fortune, and also protect my parents and MIL?